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If you have ever had the privilege of visiting a toilet with a freshly slaughtered goat head accessory then you may think you have seen it all. That’s what I thought until I visited a reputable sushi restaurant in one of Joburg‘s swankiest malls, Hyde Park Corner. I too was a bit snooty about going to a mall for serious dining but apparently, in South Africa, it is perfectly acceptable.

I nearly choked on my edamame as I clock a lady massaging an older gentleman. She seemed rather relaxed about it, almost as if it was the most natural thing you can do. It got even weirder as said gentleman was tucking into his sushi and carrying on with a conversation with his dining companion. Once in a while he would close his eyes and purse his mouth in a most disturbing fashion, in my opinion this was the height of uncouthness.

I know it’s rude to stare but I really could not help it. I had so many questions flying through my head. Why would you have a massage whilst eating, when did that even become a thing, who dreamt up this weirdness?

The clientele at the restaurant was typically well-heeled; so it got me back to my favourite question. How do you know when you have made it. If making it looks like this then I would rather be on the other side. Just because you can buy it don’t make it right. Making it must come with a little humility and eating sushi is a joyful experience on its own, no need to add extras. I politely refused the opportunity for a massage, how dare they even ask me, nearly ruined the evening.